Don't Let Me Get Me
by Jillian1
Summary: Dana thinks about Harry A LOT... I suck at summaries...takes place last season. PLEASE R/R!


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*AUTHORS NOTE*- I heard this song and thought of Dana Poole. The part about LA and being a pop star is not literal in Dana's case, but it kind of struck me as a metaphor, Pink (the author of the song) having to change to be famous, and Dana would have to change to be Harry's. Lauren kind of serves as the "Brittany Spears" Pink mentions in the song, too. I just thought the song and Dana went very well together.

***It takes place last year when Harry was dating Lauren

*DISCLAIMER*- I do not own Dana Poole, Boston Public, Harry Senate, or Lauren Davis. They belong too the writers down at FOX, and of course David E. Kelley. No copyright infringement was intended and no profit will be made.

I do not own the song "Don't Let Me Get Me", Pink does. I recommend everybody buys her album "Mizzundastood", which has this song on it. No copyright infringement was intended and no profit will be made.

Don't Let Me Get Me

February 2001

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I never win first place,

I don't support the team.

I can't take direction,

And my socks are never clean.

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Dana Poole woke up to her blaring alarm clock. It made the most startling buzzing sound, and every morning it scared the crap out of her. She would have set it to the radio, except that didn't work. Nothing in her hole-in-the-wall apartment worked. She couldn't wait to go to college except... She'd miss Harry. She pushed him out of her head, knowing he was dating Lauren and she could never win him, and she wished she could take his direction and leave him alone. She could almost get out of the Hell hole that was her life, the Hell hole that was everyone at Winslow (except of course for Harry), and go to college. 

She turned off the alarm and brushed her teeth. She showered and blew out her hair as usual. She was still tired as she walked back into her room to get dressed. Pulling out her draws, Dana muttered something not so nice, noticing she had very few clean shirts. She picked one up off of the floor. It was clean, she had only wore it once and she wouldn't stink or anything. She pulled on a pair of tight jeans, threw on some makeup, and a pair of socks she picked up off of the floor. Maybe they were the same ones she wore yesterday, but she didn't care, all she could think of was Harry.

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*****

Teachers dated me,

My parents hated me.

I'm always in a fight, 

Cause I can't do nothin' right.

*****

She slipped on her heels and walked into the tiny kitchen, grabbing a glass of milk. She finished the carton, she needed to pick up more. That was another thing to add to the list of stuff she needed to do because her no good mom didn't. Speaking of the devil, or at least the devil in Dana's eyes, her mother walked in. She glowered in Dana's direction and asked "Shouldn't you be at school or something?"

"Shouldn't you be at work or something?" She replied nastily.

"Don't talk to your mother that way. Get the Hell out." She muttered.

"I've got school anyway." She said, walking out the door.

She saw him as she walked into the building. It was like he was teasing her, always before her eyes yet out of her reach. He was so wonderful, she wanted to kiss him once more, like that first time. The most wonderful moment of her life had been for the brief while their lips met. Now it was months later, and he was dating Lauren Davis, whom Dana could no longer stand to see. 

"Hey Mr. Senate!" Dana yelled to him, he was about ten feet away. He walked over looking at her angrily.

"Dana, what is it now?" He asked.

"Calm down, I'm not looking for a kiss, if I was I'd call you Harry."

"Well you won't." Harry began. "Because I'm your teacher. Just your teacher." He said. The words cut her like knives, she felt so much pain. The look on his face was of anger. Her eyes began to tear.

"I just wanted to say hi." She managed to get out before turning to walk away.

"Dana," Harry said calmly. "I didn't mean to yell at you."

"Well you did yell at me, and it hurt. It hurts when I get yelled at by the most important person-" She stopped herself. Shit! What was she saying?

"Dana! Stop saying things like that. Forget about our kiss. Forget about us as anything more than friends." He yelled at her as he stormed off into the building.

She snapped at everyone all day long. She got into countless arguments and was hardly awake in class. She loved Harry, how could he be so cruel to her? How could her date Ms. Davis? She was too upset to care about anything. She just wanted to get out of there, and maybe smoke some pot. She would smoke it right outside where Harry parked his car... Just to be caught. And she did. And he caught her.

"What the Hell are you doing?" He asked, smelling the drugs.

"Studying." She replied sarcastically.

"Dana, drugs aren't the answer."

"Save me a drug free is the way to be speech, I am fully aware that they aren't the answer. But the person who is my answer doesn't want to be. If I can have an answer, why not have a short time solution?" She frowned. He grabbed the blunt from her hand and stomped it out.

"Dana, forget it. Next time I catch you with this, I'm telling Guber and the cops." He shook his head in shame at her, and walked off.

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Every day I fight a war against the mirror,

Can't take the person starin' back at me.

I'm a hazard to myself.

Don't let me get me, 

I'm my own worst enemy

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It took Dana all she had within herself to gain composure as Harry angrily walked away. He was a such a jerk to her, why couldn't she get over him? She knew why she couldn't- he was a jerk to protect her. He couldn't date her to protect her. He yelled at her to protect her. He was trying to help her. And for this reason she tried to pursue a relationship that he didn't want. Tears formed in her eyes as Harry met up with Lauren Davis. She wanted to sob and have someone hold her, comfort her. The only person she wanted was Harry. It was all she wanted.

She went home and avoided everyone. She began to cry heavily as she locked the door and stared into the mirror. She examined herself, her eyes moving up and down the mirror. Dana was disgusted with herself for being so upset over a guy; but this wasn't just a guy, it was Harry Senate. She threw herself onto her bed, wiping her eyes. Her hand was streaked with the mascara she knew was all over her face. She hated this life, this torture...

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It's bad when you annoy yourself,

So irritating

Don't wanna be friend no more..

I wanna be somebody else....

I wanna be somebody else.

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Dana opened her book bag and took out the paper she had scribbled her homework onto. Maybe it would take her mind off of her living Hell. Of course, though, it only made it worse. She had Global History homework. Her history teacher was... Miss Davis. What did she have that Dana didn't have? She was a nun, for Christsake! A nun! And not only was she a nun, but she ran to Harper about being called a nun! Dana wished she would just go back to the convent where she came from and leave her and Harry alone together...

But instead, she would be resting in Harry's arms. She would be the one who Harry kissed goodnight. She would be the one to wake up in his house. Lauren would get to hold his hand and taste his kiss. It wouldn't be Dana, it "couldn't" be Dana. That's what Harry always said, it _couldn't _be Dana because she was a student and he was a teacher, and he had feelings for Lauren and not for her. She wished she was the very nun that she so despised.

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LA told me,

You'll be a pop star.

All you have to change,

Is everything you are.

****

Dana had her timing planned that she would run into Harry every morning. Really, it wasn't a good idea now that she thought of it. Seeing him broke her heart over and over again. Dana didn't care, he was so perfect for her. Why couldn't she have him? I mean, did God hate her or something? What had she done to deserve this? She asked for nothing else, only Harry. She would give up everything in life for him. She walked inside, and of course, there he was.

"Dana," Harry said. She turned to him and raised her eyebrows in a confused gesture to ask why he called her.

"Hey." She said.

"Hi. Look, I've been a complete jerk to you Dana, but I have to be. You have to understand that I don't have feelings for you, and that we can only be friends."

"Oh I understand, Mr. Senate. Now, if you don't mind, I have some friends to talk to if you're finished toying with my emotions."

She walked off. 

"Dana! You know I can't date you. You're a student! Even if I had interest in you, you would have to be a graduate, an adult. "Everything you're not."

"Whatever. I'm sorry I had feelings for you. Let's just forget this whole asinine mess and go back to what we were before the… Kiss."

"Teacher and student." Harry said.

"Friends." Dana replied, walking away..

Harry shook his head and thought, _The girl will never learn_.

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Tired of bein' compared,

To damn Brittany Spears.

She's so pretty...

That just ain't me.

****

Dana sat in her Global History class. It was the end of the day, she almost made it through. Miss Davis went on and on about the Mongols or something, but Dana wasn't listening. She actually liked History, but she couldn't help but wonder what Harry saw in Lauren. I guess it didn't matter, he would never date Dana. Well, maybe after graduation... She could only hope the reason he turned her down is because she came with too much baggage, being a student and all. All of a sudden she nearly jumped out of her seat...

"Dana?" Miss Davis asked. Crap, Dana hadn't heard a word of the lesson or the question.

"Umm..." She said, trying to save herself.

"Why don't you tell us all about Genghis Kahn?"

"Sure. He was a Mongol who killed everyone in his way." Thank God she read the textbook pages.

"Mmhm, and what were his four methods of war?"

Dana would show that bitch... "Strategy, organization, modern weoponry, and terror." She was smarter than she looked.

"Good." Lauren said, directing her speech now to the rest of the class as she asked something nobody cared about.

She hated that stupid teacher, yet she wished to be her. She never would be.

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Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe me somethin'?

A day in the life of someone else..

Cause I'm a hazard to myself.

Don't let me get me, no

I'm my own worst enemy.

It's bad when annoy yourself.

So irritating.

Don't wanna be my friend no more,

I wanna be somebody else.

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She couldn't take it anymore. The bell rang and she nearly jumped out of her seat. She brushed her blonde hair back and gathered her books. She hated everyone and everything. Her parents, her teachers, her life. Her friends all thought she was fine and she didn't want them thinking otherwise. If they couldn't notice, why could the people she least wanted to see it?

"Dana," Miss Davis said. Dana sighed and turned around.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"That answer was pretty impressive, considering you weren't listening to a word I said all class."

"The textbook can teach you a lot." She said, not letting her wits fail her.

"Are you okay Dana? It was almost like you weren't here during class, there was nobody to challenge everything I said." The teacher smiled.

"I'm feeling kind of sick... Don't worry, I'll be back to pissing you off tomorrow." Dana said walking out.

And that was when it hit her. Harry didn't hate her. Lauren didn't hate her. Why did she hate everyone else? They were only looking out for her in the long run. Look what happened to that asshole Buttle and Lisa Grier! That could have been her and Harry. He was too smart for that. And Lauren didn't hate her, she simply wasn't best friends with her. Her nun instinct had kicked in at the end of that class, to worry about her. It was nice to have somebody worrying, being that her parents never cared...

So was this a change for Dana? Would she give up on Harry and accept just being friends? Would she stop despising everyone? No more hating her mom, or Lauren, or herself? No more "loving" Harry? She saw him across the hall, leaving the lounge. She smiled and waved, and he waved back. Was it really all over in this instant?

Nahhh... She had until June to plan some scheme to get Harry. Tomorrow would be business as usual.


End file.
